Zach Duke vs. Paul Maholm: Watch the universe implode on itself

Since 2006, the most regular complaint I hear about going to Pirate games has been this: “I hate going to PNC Park. Every time I go freaking Zach Duke is pitching.” The second most regular complaint I hear is this: “I hate going to PNC Park. Every time I go, freaking Paul Maholm is pitching.” 

Tonight, several thousand lucky fans will get to see THE TWO OF THEM FACE OFF IN THE MOST EPIC PNC PARK GRUDGE MATCH OF ALL-TIME (PNC Park does not have many epic grudge matches, as it turns out). Somehow, Maholm’s only managed to win one game at PNC this year (he’s got a 2.84 ERA and hitters only have a .616 OPS against him in six starts at PNC) and that one win tied him with Zach Duke for the all-time lead at PNC Park. I want to say that Maholm’s a sure thing to pass Duke and set that record, but since he may realistically only have five or six more starts at PNC that’s just not true, especially if Duke gets a leg up on him tonight. 

Most importantly, the Pirates have a chance to get to .500 in June against Zach Duke. I like Duke and wish him no ill-will, but watching him pitch for the Pirates was often less pleasant than pulling my own fingernails out with a pair of needlenose pliers. I’m also still slightly bitter about the Diamondbacks’ official Twitter account proudly announcing last month that Zach Duke had never been in first place late in May in his entire career until the D’Backs accomplished it a couple weeks ago, because to that point he’d spent his career with the Pirates. If the Pirates get to .500 tonight, it’ll be the latest it’s happened in any season since June 11, 2005. Three weeks before Zach Duke’s debut. Coincidence? 

First pitch tonight is at 7:05.  

About Pat Lackey

In 2005, I started a WHYGAVS instead of working on organic chemistry homework. Many years later, I've written about baseball and the Pirates for a number of sites all across the internet, but WHYGAVS is still my home. I still haven't finished that O-Chem homework, though.

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