You know what would be really great for a team that's lost nine of their last ten games? A chance to face Oliver Perez. The Mets have deprived us of that opportunity tonight by putting Perez on the "disabled list" (you know ... that place where crappy pitchers with no options go while the team tries to figure out what to do with them) and calling up Jon Niese. He'll make the start against Jeff Karstens, which is a pretty nice assignment for a guy making his fourth big league start.

Will the first trip to Citi Field be a chance for the Pirates to break out of their funk? Honestly, I'd be pretty surprised if it was, but I don't know how long the team can keep playing this badly. Maybe that's because I don't want to know.

But, oh God, sometimes the Green Mile seems so long.

For a long time, I was the kid that used to tell everyone every spring that this year was the year that the Pirates would break their losing streak. I gave up on that a few years ago, when I finally realized each spring that bad teams don't magically turn in to good teams. As has been said ad nauseum this year, there's a difference between teams like last year's Rays, who were a good team that most people slept on because of their bad history, and this year's Pirates.

And still, every single spring, I get excited when baseball starts. And when the Pirates roll through April at 12-11? Yep. I'm as excited as anyone. I can't help it. When I write, I try to ground myself in reality as much as possible and I tell myself things like, "This can't last, these guys aren't that good," because I know that's the truth, but there's always a little voice in my head that says, "Maybe this year is different. Maybe you missed something. Maybe the upgrade of the defense means more than you think. Maybe the Joe Kerrigan effect is bigger than anything you can quantify. Maybe this is for real."

And that leads us to my least favorite day of the baseball season. The day the crippling reality sets in that the Pittsburgh Pirates are going to be bad again. It's never easy to pinpoint the moment, but I'm pretty sure it happened earlier this week against the Brewers this year. That's actually not bad; it's happened at the home opener before.

It always amazes me when this realization disappoints me. I've known the Pirates were going to be bad in 2009 since at least 2007. It's not surprising that they're bad, but it's still somehow disappointing. It's like getting in trouble at school as a kid. At my school, they'd always call you to the principal's office, where she'd then tell you that she was calling your parents. And for the rest of the day, you'd hope that for some reason, your mom or dad wouldn't have gotten the message and that they wouldn't be upset when they got home. You might even convince yourself that was the case, but then your mom would come home and tell you that she had an interesting conversation with Mrs. Chess, and you'd know you were in trouble.

I know that I'm the guy that's been writing that the front office has a plan and things are looking up and things will get better, and I really do believe that. But I can't deny that this team is frustrating to watch sometimes, or that weeks like this one make me really wonder if the universe will ever allow the Pirates to field a good team. I'm not embarrassed to be a Pirate fan, nor am I giving up on the team. But sometimes, I just wish it didn't have to be so bad.

Things are just not going well for the Pirates right now. After a good start, Ross Ohlendorf fell apart in the fifth inning today, beaning hitters all over the place (including the rare bases-loaded-beaning of Ryan Ludwick), and by the time the beanathon was over, not even Robinzon Diaz's first career homer could save the Pirates.

Five losses in a row, nine losses in ten games. That's all for now, but the Road to 17 will be making its return tomorrow.

These two-game series really have me thrown off. Between Manny Ramirez and getting some labwork done, I completely spaced on this game this afternoon. The Bucs and Cards are already well in progress, with Ohlendorf and Wellemeyer on the mound and Ohlendorf about to let the Cardinals break this bad boy open.

Now that I'm done with my exam, let's talk about WHYGAVS Night 2009. I should be home the weekend of June 12th-14th, which is also the weekend that the Pirates play the Tigers at PNC. Seems to me that the 12th will be the best night to do it (I have other things planned for Saturday). I know this night probably won't work for everyone, but does it work for most people? Are people interested in shirts again this year? I can probably get some bad ass shirts with that P/? logo printed up if people are interested. Let's talk it out.

There are a bunch of encouraging things that I think I could say about this game, but it's hard to even want to say encouraging things like that when a team has lost eight of nine. The Pirates had a good April by avoiding stretches like this. That was easier to do against the schedule they faced in April and like most other years, we're floundering now that we're playing the NL Central again. Do you ever get the feeling that the Pirates could have the most talented team in the National League, and still not be able to beat the NL Central? Because I do.

The encouraging things that I spoke of earlier actually aren't things. It's more of a singular thing. Zach Duke didn't really have his best stuff tonight, but instead of getting lit up for 9 hits and six runs in four innings, he actually managed to hold it together and keep the Pirates in the game. Allowing four runs in 5 2/3 innings is nothing to write home about, but at least it kept us in the game.

It feels too early to be looking for silver linings like that.

Did you ever actually think you'd be happy to see the St. Louis Cardinals? The team that's owned us for the better part of the past decade? Because right now, I'd be happy to see just about any baseball team other than the Brewers take the field opposite the Pirates. The Cardinals fall into that broad category, so bring it on, St. Louis.

Zach Duke gets the ball in hopes of stopping this latest three-game losing skid, but even a win tonight doesn't really snap the team out of the seven-in-eight funk we're in. It's a place to start, though, and I guess Duke vs. the rookie Mitchell Boggs is as good a place as any to try and right this ship. Delwyn Young gets the start for the Bucs in right tonight, even though Brandon Moss has started to hit a little bit in the past couple games, while Colby Rasmus is in center for Rick Ankiel after his scary accident over the weekend. And of course the game will be played right in the middle of both hockey and Lost.

Charlie already made this point, but I thought I'd use the PitchFX from BrooksBaseball.net to drive the point home: Ian Snell's start last night is a great illustration of why pitchers generally aren't allowed to throw more than 120 pitches in a start. Check out the velocity plots from his April 29th start against the Brewers and compare them to his start from last night:

Besides the difference in pitch speed (the average of his fastballs according to Pitch FX dropped almost a full 1 mph last night), it seems to me that his velocity was much more inconsistent last night, and maybe only 10 of his last 40 pitches even topped 90 mph. This is an obvious statement, especially if you've ever pitched before, but you always feel better on the mound than you do the next day. Maybe Snell felt great after 110 pitches last week, but it seems pretty clear that pushing him forward in that game had a negative effect on him yesterday.

It's strange. For about two years now, I've completely accepted the fact that by the end of the 2009 season, the Pirates will have racked up more consecutive losing than any sports team in any sport in American history. I've come to terms with this. It sucks, and I'm not happy with it, but I've managed to accept it.

This thing with the Brewers, though? I'm not OK with this. Seventeen straight losses against the same team? How does this happen? Why does it have to be against the Brewers? There have been a lot of things that have happened to the Pirates over the last 17 years that I can't explain, and this streak against the Brewers still leaves me at a loss for words. I mean, it's not surprising that Ian Snell fell apart after 80 pitches one start after he threw 130 and it's not surprising that Jesse Chavez and Evan Meek are coming back to earth a little bit, but why did that all happen in the seventeenth game after we'd already lost sixteen in a row to the Brewers? It's just inexplicable.

We don't play them until August, July and I'm probably going to be thinking about this until then.